Setting the Stage to Deal with Difficult Issues
Setting the Stage to Deal with Difficult Issues
All things are difficult before they are easy.
– Thomas Fuller
Introduction
The vast majority of people are willing to negotiate in an honest manner. They don’t use deception or intimidation to get what they want. On occasion, however, you might run into someone who adopts a strategy that is less guided by principles. You need to be ready to deal with people who do not play fair in order to avoid any problems. Being ready for the possibility that someone will try to break the rules is not an act of cynicism, especially when those rules are not written down. It comes down to having realistic expectations and being well prepared. It’s true that there are dishonest people in the world, but if you know how to deal with them, it doesn’t have to be the end of the world.
Maintaining a State of Readiness for Environmental Tactics
It is not very common for one side of a negotiation to try to gain an advantage by employing environmental strategies, but those involved in the negotiation still need to be prepared for the possibility. One fairly obvious example is the executive who will not step out from behind his desk and will only allow the other side to sit in the chairs designated for visitors. In the event that this occurs, the most appropriate response could be something along the lines of “I’m sorry, but I need some space to spread out my notes. Is there a conference room that’s open for booking?”
The person who is playing host to the negotiations holds a powerful position. To deny the existence of this reality would be completely naive and unproductive. However, each host will have their own unique strategy for making use of this power. Sometimes you will face a host who manipulates the circumstances to their advantage, and if you do not at least say something about it, you run the risk of your “opponent” feeling as though they can do and say anything and get away with it. If you do say something about it, you run the risk of your “opponent” feeling as though they can turn the situation to their advantage. Even if all you do is request that the conditions be improved, you will let them know that you have observed what it is that they have been doing because they will understand that you have noticed it.
It’s possible that you believe you have the ability to deal with any environmental strategies that are applied to you. If you can demonstrate that you are able to negotiate effectively despite the conditions that have been imposed on you, you stand a good chance of earning the respect of your adversary.
Brief check
You shouldn't have to do this, but it's a good idea to give your opponent fair warning that you won't put up with being taken advantage of in any way, shape, or form – and you should do so in a courteous but firm manner if it comes to that.
Managing the Effects of Personal Attacks
If you are able to keep the focus on the issues at hand rather than the people involved, you will have more success in any negotiation. It’s possible that the other participants in the negotiation won’t take this approach, which is a shame. Personal attacks are sometimes made during negotiations for a variety of reasons, including the following:
They may believe that this kind of behaviour will give them an advantage in the negotiation; they may view any disagreement with their position as a threat to their self-image; they may believe that they are not being treated fairly or with respect; they may have the perception that they are not being respected.
If you show from the very beginning that you respect the other parties and the positions that they hold, it is possible that you will be able to avoid making personal attacks. An opening that is respectful and positive sets the tone for the rest of the negotiation. You could try saying something along the lines of “Let’s get back to the issues” in the event that the other party is resistant to the atmosphere of mutual respect that you are attempting to create. If the other party continues to make personal attacks, it is possible that it is time to put an end to the negotiation process. Attacking someone on a personal level is never productive, despite the fact that there may be people on the opposing side who believe that they can intimidate you if they behave or speak in an abusive manner.
The piece of advice that many parents give to their children when they have a child who is being teased in the schoolyard is applicable in this situation as well. What someone says about you behind your back typically reveals more about him or her than it does about you. It is prudent to take into account the circumstances that led to their behaviour; it may have occurred at an especially emotional point in the negotiations, or they may have just been attempting to assert some kind of superiority over you. Either way, it is important to keep in mind the factors that led to their behaviour. You will be held in extremely high regard if you are able to keep your dignity.
It is to no one’s benefit to retaliate against those who attack you personally. The only thing that will come of this is that the person who attacked you will get the reaction that tells them they have scored a direct hit on their target. You will have a better chance of success if you simply request to continue the negotiations and ignore contributions that are not helpful. Refusing to engage in childish behaviour is not a sign of weakness, despite the fact that it may give the appearance of a cowardly attempt to escape a confrontation.
Maintaining Command of Your Emotions
One component of what is referred to as “emotional intelligence” is the ability to identify and manage one’s feelings. Emotional intelligence is not the same as what one might call academic intelligence. Academic intelligence is the type of intelligence that enables some people to get good grades in school and score well on standardized tests. Emotional intelligence, on the other hand, is the type of intelligence that enables people to be emotionally intelligent. The realization that success in the workplace and in life requires more than just this kind of intelligence is gaining popularity among an increasing number of people.
Recognizing how both you and the other party are emotionally reacting to the topic of discussion is an important part of having emotional intelligence during a negotiation. If it seems like the emotional temperature in the room is starting to rise, you might decide that it’s time to take a break from the conversation. There is very little benefit to be gained from allowing a hostile environment to fester in a boardroom and develop into something that has the potential to derail negotiations at a sensitive stage.
When the emotional temperature rises above where it should be, you will be able to tell because conversations will become less focused, voices will be raised, and the silences will be all the more silent. At this stage in the negotiations, it may be prudent to suggest that everyone take a short break during which they can go grab a cup of coffee or step outside for some fresh air. After that, you are in a position to return to the negotiations with the air having been somewhat cleared, and you can try to make some headway without running the risk of people losing their cool.
Brief check
It would be wonderful if the environment of every negotiation was warm and friendly, but in the real world, things don't work that way at all. Negotiations, by their very definition, entail a competitive dynamic between the parties involved.
Identifying the Moment That It Is Appropriate to Leave
It is not necessary for the parties involved in a negotiation to get along well with one another for the process of bargaining to be successful; however, they must avoid allowing any personal conflicts or unfair strategies to derail the talks. If the other party in the negotiation makes you feel threatened or extremely uncomfortable, or if the other party uses unfair tactics that make it impossible to have an equitable negotiation, it is time to walk away from the table.
It’s possible that you’ll have the impression that leaving would be an admission of defeat, which could encourage you to keep trying to make things work even though the likelihood of that happening is decreasing with each passing day. However, there are times when the other party simply crosses a line, and you would do well to show them that this is not going to be permitted. You would be well advised to show them that this will not be permitted. It’s possible that the best course of action for everyone involved is to call a halt to the meeting and extend an invitation to resume negotiations at a later time.
Some negotiators will resort to strategies that are nothing more than outright threats in an effort to coerce you into complying with their demands. The fact that this strategy is so popular likely stems from the fact that it is successful most of the time. However, it will only function properly if it is given the opportunity to do so. If parties to a negotiation walked away from the table every time another party attempted to cheat them or intimidate them, then that strategy would eventually become obsolete. When it comes to this topic, it is important to have principles, as no one has ever gotten a good deal by giving in to a threatening negotiator and caving in to their demands.
Brief check
Just because misunderstandings in negotiation can easily occur, never fear to negotiate never negotiate out of fear.
How to Negotiate Without Leading to Misunderstandings
The failure of talks can often be traced back to a simple misunderstanding. Disagreements of this kind might be brought about by disparities in viewpoint, history, or culture, in addition to a great number of other variables.
It is possible to not ‘hear’ what others intend to say, particularly in the context of negotiation, either to a lack of assertiveness on the side of the other person or due to inefficient listening on the part of the person in question.
Because misunderstandings in negotiation can easily occur, it is important to:
- Clarify individual goals: It is absolutely necessary to have a complete comprehension of the goals that the opposing party is attempting to accomplish. It is not usually the case that this is what they originally declare to be their goals. Examining one’s interests frequently enables one to gain a better comprehension of one’s actual ambitions. In a similar vein, it is beneficial to articulately describe your own objectives in order to facilitate collaboration between the involved parties and the achievement of mutually beneficial outcomes. Hardened negotiators from the “old school,” such officials from traditional unions, will frequently claim that expressing your aims weakens your position in the negotiation. If you are adopting a “Win-Lose” technique of negotiation, then this statement is entirely accurate. The first step in achieving your objectives is to state them in a clear and direct manner if you want to find a middle ground and create a situation in which everyone comes out on top.
- State the issues clearly: It is essential to determine the actual problems at hand and get rid of any concerns that are irrelevant after doing so. This makes it possible for the focus of the negotiation to remain firmly fixed on the interests and differences of the individuals who are involved, preventing debate from spreading to other areas of work that are unrelated. You could find it useful to put on a white board or flip chart the areas of interest, as well as those that you have decided are not important to the conversation and why you have come to that conclusion. In this way, others will be able to point out what was agreed upon in the event that one individual goes off on a tangent. Keep in mind, however, that as the negotiations continue, other topics may become significant, and it is possible that they may need to be added to the list. Different people are interested in a variety of things. What you consider to be absolutely necessary, another person can consider to be completely unimportant. When all of the concerns are laid out clearly at the outset of the negotiation, as well as when you make it obvious which ones are more significant to you, “win-win” areas become more apparent.
Brief check
Negotiation is a process by which people resolve disagreements. Structured negotiation follows a number of stages from preparation through to implementation.
If possible, a WIN-WIN approach is more desirable than a bargaining (WIN-LOSE) approach. This involves seeking resolutions that allow both sides to gain, while at the same time maintaining good working relationships with the other parties involved.
- Consider all viewpoints: When there is a discussion going on, a significant amount of time may be spent determining the facts. However, it is important to be aware that ‘facts’ typically present another area over which people prefer to argue. This is due to the fact that various people are able to interpret the same circumstance and occurrences in entirely different ways. It is important to recognize that the concerns of others, even if they are completely groundless, are nonetheless genuine concerns that should be taken into account. Disagreements between individuals’ points of view are frequently the root cause of conflict. Keep in mind that just because you accept and comprehend the position of another person does not mean that you automatically agree with that opinion. Instead, it demonstrates respect for the person and a willingness to collaborate with them to find a solution that is suitable to both parties. In a same vein, it is beneficial to assist the other person to comprehend your point of view. In many cases, gaining a better understanding of the issues at hand and determining how to move forward in finding a solution can be facilitated by having a conversation that is open, honest, and accepting of the many points of view.
- Clarify meaning: When negotiating, having strong communication skills is really necessary. If you want to reduce the number of issues that arise from misconceptions during negotiations, working on improving and growing your communication skills is a good place to start. These kinds of skills include:
- Active listening
- Questioning
- Reflecting and Clarifying
- Verbal and Non-Verbal Communication
You might also find it helpful to learn how to communicate clearly and effectively in challenging circumstances. This will assist you in gaining a better grasp of what can go wrong when individuals are communicating with one another. Because of this, there will be less opportunities for misunderstandings. You will boost your chances of having effective negotiations if you cultivate a solid grasp of communication. But what’s even more essential is that you continue to keep in contact with the other person or persons in the years to come. Spending some time clarifying and agreeing on what each individual has said (rather than presuming that you know what they wanted to say) is the best way to reduce the likelihood that someone would misunderstand the meaning of something.
Useful phrases include, “So when you stated x, would it be fair to say that you felt y?” and “So when you said x, would it be acceptable to claim that you felt y?”
If you’ll excuse my paraphrasing, the thing that seems to matter the most to you is x.
If you don’t pay attention to what they have to say and make sure that you have accurately interpreted and paraphrased what they have said, you will just contribute to the confusion that has already been caused. Instead of taking an aggressive attitude or passively listening to diverse points of view, good negotiation requires presenting your viewpoint in an authoritative manner and delivering it to the other party. You can contribute to the fulfillment of the requirements of all parties involved by adopting a forceful stance.
Practical Application
Sally is a senior salesperson at Star sportswear. She has many years of experience dealing with difficult people and situations during her negotiation with potential customers. She shares her experience and here’s what she has to say, “ Sales negotiations are ideally supposed to flow in a mutually beneficial direction. But that’s not always the case. We sometimes run into negotiation counterparts who are downright difficult. In such a challenging negotiation, strong emotions and feelings of desperation may easily set in, increasing the odds of losing the deal”.
She explains that it is not easy to manage such difficult negotiations, but with the right tactics, you can turn the challenge into an opportunity each time. One of the tactics she employs whenever she finds herself in a difficult negotiation situation is to stay calm. .
She says that it is very easy to lose your cool if you are faced with an adversarial negotiation counterpart. But that will not benefit the negotiation.
To keep your emotions in check, start by taking a deep breath because it helps you retain your composure by stopping you from plunging into a fight-or-flight response. With your heartbeat and breathing in check, your mind can work optimally to figure out the next smart move.
Sally adds, “Even though an unexpected display of anger can frighten some people into making concessions that benefit your interests, this approach can be counterproductive. In most cases, the anger will only convey desperation and not strength on your part. Also, strong emotions keep you from thinking clearly. This could lead you into giving in prematurely.”
Sally’s advice to retain your composure, take a step back from the hard line, take an objective look at the dispute, is very useful in sales because in all circumstances you are required to always remain professional as you approach the negotiation.
As a sales person, you will sometimes have to deal with a difficult customer. Sometimes the bargaining session may shift in the other party’s direction, and without good preparation, this can easily throw you off balance. However, arming yourself with these tactics should ensure that you survive (and increase your chances of winning) just about any sales situation.
