Recollecting names
Recollecting names
If names are not correct, language will not be in accordance with the truth of things.
– Confucius
Introduction
Our name is an enormously important component of both our individual and collective self-images. It reveals who you are to others. This is your announcement to the rest of the world. The use of our name serves as a method of identification. On each report that we hand in, including our tax returns, it is something that we utilize when we sign our name.
Keep in mind that a person’s name is the sound that they associate with themselves the most, making it the most significant sound in any language. The average person is more curious about his or her own name than they are about all of the other names on the planet combined.
Remembering the other person’s name is not only an easy way to establish instant familiarity and a connection with them, but it is also an understated and powerful complement. It is an indication of the significance of the other individual, given that time and effort have been expended in order to recall their name.
On the other hand, if you have met someone before and then meet him or her again without taking the time to recall his or her name, the first person you met will assume that you are not interested in the second person and will act accordingly. Emerson was quoted as saying that “good manners are made out of little sacrifices.”
Writer and lecturer Dale Carnegie once said that “a person’s name to him or her is the sweetest and most important sound in any language.” When we address people by name, we are telling them that we respect them, consider them as important, recognize their individuality, and warmly relate with them. If you want to be able to cultivate many functional friendships and working partnerships, you need the ability of remembering names.
Later on in this lesson we will look at some strategies that can assist us in improving our ability to recall people’s names now that we’ve established the significance of being able to recall their names. Rather than telling yourself that you are bad at remembering names, begin telling yourself that you are good at remembering names; and use the methods that are provided below to assist you in acquiring this really important soft talent. The following is a list of helpful hints to recall names:
Key to a powerful introduction
Pay attention when other people introduce themselves to you or when you introduce yourself to other people. Follow these steps to introducing yourself effectively:
Project warmth and confidence. Many people size you up even before you say a word, which is why it’s important to mind your body language. When you introduce yourself, stand up straight, relax, and establish eye contact.
State your first name and your last name. Depending on the situation, you may also state your affiliation and or your position in the company. Example: “Hello. I’m Jacqueline Smith. I’m the Quality Control Officer.”
When the other person has given their name, repeat it in acknowledgment. As soon as you hear the name, immediately repeat it. To give you an example, you might say something like, “Paul, it’s really a pleasure to meet you,” if the other person is your age or younger.
You might say something like “Mr. Smith, it’s such an honour to meet you,” if the other person is quite senior or a VIP.
Always use someone’s last name until you are specifically given permission to use their first name. This will help you avoid embarrassing situations. “It’s nice to meet you, Mr. Andrews.” or “It’s nice to meet you, Joseph.” Repeating their name is an acknowledgment that you heard their introduction.
Put less emphasis on yourself and more on the other person: Learning more about the individual will make it easier for you to recall their name. Connecting topics can also include conversations on recent vacations, favorite books, favorite sports teams, etc.
Exhibit some enthusiasm: If someone doesn’t recall your name, you should immediately step in to save the situation. Extend your hand, flash a friendly grin, and introduce yourself.
It should come across in both your tone of speech and the way you carry yourself that you are pleased to have made the acquaintance of this person. As you extend your hand to them, smile and make eye contact while doing so.
Useful device
One technique that has been known to work in helping improve recall is the use of mnemonic devices. Mnemonic devices are ways of conceptualizing ideas that aim to organize arbitrary things into meaningful data. Things that seem random are harder to remember; mnemonic devices help organize ideas in our minds.
Here are examples of mnemonic devices you can use in name recall:
Clustering by Categories: Grouping the items that you need to remember into categories can help you remember them better. For example, to memorize a list of contacts, group them by company or by profession.
Acronyms: This is a method where you devise a word or expression in which each of its letters stand for a name. An example is SALE for Sally, Andrew, Louise and Ester
Acrostics: This mnemonic device follows the same logic as acronyms except that one forms a sentence rather than a single word to help one remember new words. For example one might remember ‘all babies cry loudly’ for Allan, Betty, Chris and Lisa.
Brief check
The secret to remembering names is to make the extra effort to review, relate, repeat and record the names and associations of people for easier recall.
Repeat: Make an effort to include the person’s name in each of the preceding statements. When meeting someone for the first time, using their name is an effective method for attracting their attention.
Clarify: Request that the individual spell their name for you. “Do you spell your name Steven with a ‘v’ or do you spell it Stephen with a ‘ph’?” After that, you spell it out. You will have a visual hook as a result of this.
Connect and establish ties: Take a good look at the person’s face. The majority of us are better able to recall people’s faces than their names. Put a face to the name and associate the two. Make use of a personal link, such as another person in your circle of acquaintances who shares the same name. “That’s the middle name I was given.”
Recognize: Share with the person what you know about him or her from other people. Recognize specific abilities or contributions that have been made. “From what I gather, you came up with the idea for this Business Protocol Workshop.”
Use memory strategies: A jingling bell, a spider web, or Franklin with his kite in the air are some examples.
Put less emphasis on yourself and more on the other person. Learning more about the individual will make it easier for you to recall their name.
Connecting topics can also include conversations on recent vacations, favorite books, favorite sports teams, etc.
Create a mental imagery
You might try to remember a name by conjuring up mental images that is similar to the way the name sounds. The sillier the image, the more easily you’ll be able to recall it.
Some people memorize better when they visualize interactive images. They create a scene in their heads where all the items that they have to remember are interacting with each other in some active way. For example, if you have to remember to Mark, Joseph and Martha, imagine a Biblical Joseph being served tea by Martha Stewart while he’s playing target shooting (the bulls-eye can remind you of the synonym “mark”)
It is also essential to visualize that person in the context of the scene. This will assist you to associate that individual with the ludicrous scene that jogs your memory of that person’s name and will make it easier for you to remember that person’s name.
You should take some time later, when you are by yourself, and write the person’s name down on a piece of paper. You will have a textual impression of the name as a result of this. You might also try saying the name out loud a few times to get a feel for how it sounds when said, giving you a spoken impression of the person’s name.
Brief check
Remembering names is an important social skill. Mastering this skill can offer a distinct advantage in your business as well as in your personal lives.
Memory or attitude
Most of us have been there before: a situation when someone says “hi” to us, but we have absolutely no idea who is talking to us. At best we’d just feel awkward and embarrassed; at worse, we might end up offending the other person. To manage better situations like this, it is recommended that you:
Understand why you forget names. Often, forgetting names is not about memory problems — it’s about attitude problems. Perhaps you don’t think remembering names is important. Maybe you don’t trust your ability to manage a list of names in your head. Or it’s possible that you get easily nervous in social situations, you tend to mentally blank out. Identify what holds you back from remembering people’s name. Exert a deliberate effort to improve your rate of name recall. It is only when you have an open attitude that name recall becomes easy.
Ask a third party. One way you can avoid showing your memory lapse is to seek a third person’s help subtly. If you see a face in a crowd that looks familiar, but whose name you can’t recall, ask a friend: “Hey, do you know the woman at the back?” A little research prior to walking up to a person can help you prevent a potentially embarrassing situation.
Ask for a card. Asking for a calling card can be a way to subtly get the other person’s name. For example, you can say: “Hey, I don’t think I have your card yet, here’s mine.”
Introduce other people to them. If you have people you know around you, why don’t you initiate an introduction? For instance you can say “Hey, have you met my friend Mark? Mark is a PR in this company.” Politeness would typically compel the person to introduce himself or herself to Mark, and you can catch their name at that point.
Be honest. And if you really can’t recall who the person is, and the other person appears amiable enough, then perhaps you can come clean. You can say: “I’m sorry; I know that we’ve met, but I seem to have forgotten your name.” You may also add some details that you do remember, to ease the effect of your memory loss. “We met at the company dinner, right, last September? You were with your lovely children.” Hopefully, the people can empathize with your distress and re-introduce themselves.
Brief check
It is challenging for many of us to keep track of one another's names. Very few people can honestly say they are good at remembering people's names. Nevertheless, this ability can offer you astounding power in the mind of another person. It is a sign of respect that you have taken the time to recall another person's name if you are able to do so when you address them by name. This ability alone can significantly boost your professional reputation.
Conclusion
If you find yourself unable to recall someone’s name, rather than concentrating on how embarrassed you are, try to put the other person at ease. Extend your hand, flash a friendly grin, and introduce yourself. After then, the other individual will introduce himself or herself by name. Alternately, if that does not work, apologize to the other person and let him know that you have forgotten his name.
Don’t freak out if you’re having a conversation with someone and another person walks up while you’re in the middle of it, and you realize that you’ve forgotten the name of the person to whom you’ve been talking. Say something like, “Have the two of you met before?” rather than admitting that you have a memory loss. Respond with, “Well, the two of you should meet.” if they look at each other and say, “No, we have not,” and make no move to offer you their names. Could you please each other introduce yourselves?
When you introduce yourself to someone, speaking your name slowly and clearly will make it easier for that person to remember it. If you pause ever so slightly between your first and last name, it will not only cause you to speak more slowly, but it will also provide the person listening with a greater opportunity to pick out both your first and last name. When conducting business on a professional level, it is customary to always provide the surname in addition to the given name.
Practical Application
Samuel was quite skilled when it came to presenting himself to others. He constantly gave off an impression of friendliness and self-assurance through his body language, and when he introduced himself, he used his full name and position. It appeared that Samuel’s name had never been removed from anyone’s memory.
One issue was that he had a hard time recalling anyone’s name. This led to circumstances that could have been embarrassing for him, but he had acquired some tactics that helped him get through them. Instead of expressing that he does not remember people’s names, he preferred to make a small conversation about whatever he remembered about the most recent time he had met that person, and then politely ask for their names. For example he would say, “Oh yes. I had a great time hearing about…the last time we spoke; nevertheless, I apologize in advance because I cannot remember your name. Please accept my sincere apologies”.
Samuel met Joseph at a gathering and was unable to recall his name when Joseph suddenly initiated a conversation with him. Samuel did remember talking to Joseph somewhere fairly recently but just could not remember his name. Despite everything, Samuel carried on with the chat. He said to Joseph near the end of the conversation, “Hey, I don’t think I have your card.” Samuel thanked him when they exchanged business cards, so avoiding any humiliation that could have resulted from forgetting Joseph’s name.
