The Importance of Active Listening
The Importance of Active Listening
When people talk, listen completely.
– Ernest Hemingway
Introduction
We’ve explored the non-verbal, paraverbal, and verbal components of message transmission so far in this course. Now, let’s flip the script and examine the most successful methods for receiving communications i.e. Active Listening.
Active listening does not always imply lengthy periods spent listening to personal or professional problems. It is just a method of addressing issues that develop as a result of the normal day-to-day activities of any employment.
Active listening must be strongly rooted in the user’s fundamental attitudes in order to be successful. We cannot use it as a tool if our underlying beliefs contradict its essential notions. If we attempt, our conduct will be hollow and sterile, which our companions will quickly notice. We cannot begin to be good listeners unless we display a mentality that sincerely appreciates the individual’s potential value, that examines his goals and believes in his ability for sell-direction.
What We Accomplish Through Listening
Active listening is critical for affecting change in individuals. Despite the belief that listening is a passive activity, clinical and scientific data demonstrates unequivocally that attentive hearing is an extremely powerful agent for individual personality development and group growth. Listening alters people’s views about themselves and others; it also alters their fundamental beliefs and personal philosophy. Individuals who have been listened to in this novel and unique manner develop emotional maturity, more openness to their experiences, less defensiveness, increased democracy, and decreased authoritarianism.
When individuals are listened to sensitively, they tend to listen to themselves more carefully and express their feelings and thoughts more clearly. Members in groups tend to listen more to one another, become less combative, and more receptive to incorporating other points of view. Due to the fact that listening minimizes the fear of having one’s ideas attacked, the individual is better able to perceive things for what they are and is more likely to believe that his contributions are worthy.
Not least significant is the shift that occurs inside the listener. Apart from giving more information than any other activity, listening fosters the development of strong, meaningful connections and has been shown to influence the listener’s views positively. Listening is a kind of progress.
Thus, these are some of the beneficial outcomes of active listening. However, how can we do this kind of listening? How can we develop into active listeners?
Brief check
Most individuals listen at only 25 percent efficiency.
How to Listen Better
Hearing is simple! For the majority of us, our bodies do the translation by converting the sounds we hear into words. However, listening is far more challenging. Listening is the process of examining the words and the context in which they are said (for example, our non-verbal communication) and then comprehending the overall message.
Let us begin slowly. Here are seven things you can do right now to improve your listening skills. Choose a handful and include them in your action plan.
- Pay attention while you’re listening. Avoid talking on the phone, texting, cleaning your desk, or engaging in any other activity.
- Steer clear of disruptions. If you become aware of anything that has to be done, jot it down mentally or in writing and set it aside until the talk is complete.
- Aim to spend at least 90% of your time listening and less than 10% speaking.
- When you do speak, ensure that your words are relevant to what the other person is saying. Clarifying and expanding questions, as well as probing for further information, will be critical tools. (We will discuss questioning techniques later in the following lesson.)
- Never provide counsel until the other person specifically requests it. If you’re unsure what they want, ask!
- Create an atmosphere that is favorable to listening. Make an effort to minimize noise and distractions. (“Would you mind entering my office so I can hear you more clearly?” is an excellent statement to utilize.) If possible, choose a comfortable seat. Keep a safe distance from the individual so that you can hear them, but not so near that they feel uneasy.
- If you are compelled to take notes during a discussion, make an effort not to allow the note taking disrupt the flow of the talk. If you need more time to catch up, pick an acceptable time to request a break.
Active Listening
So, what exactly does active listening entail? Essentially, it necessitates that we enter the speaker’s headspace and comprehend what he is telling to us from his perspective. Furthermore, we must demonstrate to the speaker that we are viewing things from his perspective. Listening attentively, then, requires a number of actions on our part.
Although hearing is a passive action, good listening requires active listening in order to hear what is being said. Active listening consists of three fundamental phases.
- Make an attempt to understand where the other person is coming from. This is sometimes referred to as the frame of reference. For instance, your response to a bear will be much different depending on whether you’re watching it in a zoo or from the comfort of your tent at a campground. Your response to someone discussing a sick relative will vary according on your relationship with that individual.
- Pay careful attention to what is being stated.
- Respond properly, non-verbally (with a nod to signal that you are listening), verbally (with a question to elicit clarification), or by paraphrasing. Take note that paraphrasing does not imply that the listener must repeat the speaker’s words back to them as if they were a parrot. It does include paraphrasing what you believe the speaker said. “It seems as if it made you furious,” or “It sounds as though the cashier wasn’t very friendly to you.” (Using the “It sounds like…” or a comparable phrase allows the speaker to correct you if your perception is incorrect.)
- Pay attention to the whole meaning. Any communication, a person tries to get across generally has two parts: the message’s substance and the emotion or attitude behind it. Both are important; both contribute to the meaning of the message. It is this total meaning of the message that we try to understand. For example, a machinist, for example, tells his supervisor, “I’ve completed that lathe setup. “This communication contains evident substance and may request another job assignment from the foreman. For example, suppose he says, “Well, I’m finally through with that damned lathe setup.” The message’s substance hasn’t changed, but its overall meaning has—and it’s altered in a significant manner for both the foreman and the worker. In this case, attentive listening may help the connection. Assume that the foreman responds by simply assigning another task. Is the employee satisfied that he has conveyed his whole message? Is he free to speak with his foreman? Will he be more enthusiastic about his profession and eager to complete the next task?
Brief check
To become an active listener, stop talking, control your surroundings, develop a positive mind-set, listen for main points, and capitalize on lag time.
Suppose, on the other hand, the foreman replied, “Glad to be done with that, huh?” or “Had a fairly tough time of it?” or “I imagine you don’t feel like doing anything like that again,” or anything else that indicates to the worker that he has listened and comprehended. It doesn’t imply the next job assignment has to be adjusted, or that he has to listen to the worker gripe about the setup issues he experienced for an hour. In light of the new knowledge he has from the worker, he may or may not do a variety of things differently. It’s only that additional sensitivity on the foreman’s side that may turn a bad working environment into a good one.
- Feelings must be addressed. In certain cases, the material is less significant than the emotion that surrounds it. To fully grasp the message’s flavor or meaning, one must pay close attention to the emotional component. Responding to content would be patently ludicrous if our machinist had remarked, “I’d want to melt this machine down and manufacture paper clips out of it.” However, recognizing the significance of this message in response to his disdain or wrath while attempting to operate with his lathe. In the meaning of each communication, there are varying shades of these components. Each time, the listener must make an effort to stay aware of the message’s overall significance to the speaker. I’m not sure what he’s trying to say. To him, what does this imply? What is his take on the situation?
- Make a mental note of all the cues. Verbal communication isn’t the only way to communicate. The speaker’s words alone do not convey what he is trying to say. As a result, fully attentive hearing necessitates being aware of a variety of nonverbal forms of communication. The manner a speaker pauses throughout his speech might reveal a lot about his emotions His vocal inflection may do the same. He may emphasize some topics loudly and clearly while mumbling about others. The person’s facial expressions, body posture, hand motions, eye movements, and respiration should all be noted. All of this aid in the delivery of his overall message.
Sending Positive Messages to Others
When we listen to others speak, we may provide the other person three types of clues. Using the appropriate cue at the appropriate moment is critical for maintaining effective communication.
- Non-Verbal: As the Mehrabian research demonstrates, body language plays a significant role in our interactions with people. Nodding your head and making an engaged facial expression demonstrate to the speaker that you are paying attention.
- Quasi-Verbal: Fillers such as “uh-huh” and “mm-hmmm” demonstrate to the speaker that you are attentive and engaged in the discussion.
- Verbal: Active listening requires the use of open questions based on the six roots stated before (who, what, where, when, why, and how), as well as paraphrasing and asking summary questions. (We’ll discuss questioning abilities later in the course.) These signals should be used in conjunction with active listening. Inserting an occasional “uh-huh” throughout a discussion may deceive the individual with whom you are conversing temporarily, but you are kidding yourself if you believe this is a successful communication technique.
Practical Application
Christine was supposed to make an important presentation to the clients at their office. The morning of the presentation, her son becomes ill and she realizes that she won’t be able to make the presentation. She gives her colleague, Joseph a call and tells him that he will need to make the presentation without her. While Christine was still explaining where the latest version of the presentation is, Joseph starts thinking bout what attire he should wear and how he might open the presentation.
Christine tells Joseph to ensure he checks the date to make sure he has the latest version of the presentation and he assures her that he will be fine. However, when Joseph arrives at the client’s office, he realizes he doesn’t have the latest version of the presentation. Joseph had no choice but to use the old unfinished version of the presentation. When he gives Christine an update on how the meeting went, she is upset. She recommended Joseph improve his active listening skills namely intensity, empathy, acceptance, and a willingness to take responsibility. It is obvious that Joseph did not give his full attention to Christine when she was explaining what he needed to do to pull off the presentation. After that both colleagues aimed to spend 90% of their time listening and only 10% of their time talking. This allowed them to narrow down their options for better communication methods in the office and were able to create a better environment at work.
