Polish Your Writing Style

Keep it short and simple!

Length of documents

Keep your documents as short as possible.  Length does not necessarily contribute to persuasiveness.  A well-argued 2-page report will be more persuasive than a 10-page document listing many facts but confusing the reader in the process.

Use annexes

When dealing with complex and extensive information, use annexes to simplify your basic document.  Keep your main report to three pages and include detailed information in the annexes.  That way, the main points are easily accessible to a reader who wants a quick overview, but the fine details are also available for the technical readers who want to refer to your data.

Write concisely

From complexity to clarity

The first step to clarity is to write clear topic sentences.  Then you need to make sure your supporting sentences present a clear case.  This section presents techniques for ‘chunking’. i.e., grouping information together, to provide clear support for your main claims.

Use subparagraphs

Use subparagraphs to make a series of parallel points in your argument.  Subparagraphs must contain at least one complete sentence.

Look at this example.

Example 1

4. The present Administrative Terminals were installed during the initial computerization project in 1982. Although these terminals are still working satisfactorily, the following factors are of concern to management.

4.1   The terminal manufacturer ceased production of this type of terminal in 1991 and has abandoned the design and support of these terminals.  It is not possible to purchase additional terminals to cater for the opening of new or larger outlets.

4.2   Maintaining these terminals is proving ever more difficult as the model is outdated and spares are not easily obtained.

4.3   The present terminals are inflexible and cannot be enhanced to handle new facilities such as the rejection of unauthorized users at public terminals and administrative terminals.

4.4   Advances in technology offer tighter control of system security within a selling outlet.

4.5   The current administrative terminals can only provide hard copy information and print at a very low speed of 30 characters per second resulting in delays in following up customer queries/disputes and operations irregularities.

Use bulleted lists

Subparagraphs can be reduced to a bulleted list for greater conciseness if the details are unnecessary to your argument.  Bulleted items are frequently not complete sentences.  Here is the same example reduced to a short, bulleted form.

Use numbered lists

Bulleted lists present the items in no particular order.  If the items are ordered in some systematic way, such as a series of steps, or if you think the reader may need to refer to list items specifically, then you should number them.

In this example, the items are numbered to allow later reference by the writer.

Example 3

The present Administrative Terminals were installed during the initial computerization project in 1982.  Although these terminals are still working satisfactorily, they are technologically outdated and have gone out of production, resulting in:

1. loose system security;
2. customer service delays;
3. difficulties in replacing terminals;
4. lack of parts for maintenance;

limitations on the introduction of new facilities.

Be direct

Much poor and pompous writing results from adopting formal, inflated, or abstract language to try to strengthen points.  In most management documents, a direct style is more effective.

Look at this first draft of a paragraph from the Clock reports:

There is also the possibility that a replacement clock could act as a revenue generator through the setting up of a sponsorship arrangement with a prestigious company.

A revision to remove indirect phrasing cut the length by 50 percent.

A replacement clock could possibly generate revenue through sponsorship by a prestigious company.

Revise indirect phrasing

Here are some examples to show the difference between indirect and direct writing.

Watch out for these danger points in your writing:

Use active verbs

Where possible, prefer active forms over passive forms.  Notice how Example 1, written in the active voice, is shorter, more emphatic, more confident and easier to understand than Example 2, written in the passive.

Example 1: Active voice

We studied electricity costs in four stages over a twelve-month period.  First, we surveyed and listed all offices and equipment.  We then observed at regular intervals to identify usage characteristics and analyzed the ‘slack’ time when the equipment was not in use but still consuming power.  Finally, the team issued recommendations for power-saving procedures.

Example 2: Passive voice

A study of electricity costs was conducted in four stages over a twelve-month period.  First, a survey was taken and a list made of all offices and equipment.  Then observations were made at regular intervals to identify usage characteristics.  An analysis was made of ‘slack’ time when the equipment was not in use but still consuming power.  Finally, recommendations were made by the team for power-saving procedures.

Of course, the passive voice is useful in many situations:

Your budget has been cut by 30 percent. [Specific decision-maker not stated.]

Your documents were misfiled.  [Person not known].

The annual report has been printed and circulated. [Emphasis is placed on the report, not on the printer and the clerical staff who circulate it].

Technical information for non-technical readers

Many managers are responsible for communicating technical information to non-specialists in their field.  The general principles of good writing certainly assist in this common, challenging task.

This example comes from a report to management investigating a noise problem in a stadium commentary box.  A specialist engineer is writing to a non-specialist administrator who is familiar with the background of the problem.

Example 1

A sound survey in the commentary box confirmed that the high noise level was caused mainly by the transmission equipment blower motors, with a lesser contribution from the air-conditioning equipment.  Tests showed that with the transmission equipment shut down, the ambient noise level at the microphone positions dropped by 10 decibels (dB), whereas with the air-conditioning equipment shut down the noise level dropped by 2.5 dB.  General clatter and impact noise caused by the movement of furniture and personnel also contributed to the noisy working conditions, but could not be measured other than as sudden sporadic peaks of 2 to 5 dB.

This passage uses the following techniques to make technical details accessible to the non-specialist reader.

Writing for different audiences

The following table illustrates three versions of the same information.  It deals with a sensing system for electronically measuring the speed of moving vehicles.  The three versions are geared to the needs of:

• technical staff (e.g., a briefing paper for electronic engineers in a project team)
• technically aware, non-specialist management (e.g., a progress report to a Divisional Manager)
• non-technical readers (e.g., a draft section to go into the quarterly report to shareholders)

Be emphatic

Use your hot spots!

The first and last words in a sentence are Hot Spots.  They typically contain the ideas that attract the most attention and that the writer wants most to emphasize.

Be coherent

What is coherence?

Look at these two paragraphs.  They contain the same information, but one is easier to understand than the other.  Which one?  And why?

Example 1

The external mechanical clock on the exterior of M1 facing the Infield was installed over 30 years ago.  In the past few years, wear on mechanical parts such as the driving gear has caused it to run slowly and out of synchronization with the master clock. These cannot be replaced since spare parts are obsolete and no longer supported by the manufacturer.

Example 2

The external mechanical clock on the exterior of M1 facing the Infield was installed over 30 years ago.  In the past few years, it has been running slowly and out of synchronization with the master clock, due to wear on mechanical parts such as the driving gear.  These cannot be replaced since spare parts are obsolete and no longer supported by the manufacturer.

A paragraph is coherent when each of its sentences connects smoothly with the following one.  The reader finds it easy to move from one idea to the next.  You write coherent paragraphs when you arrange the ideas following known-new theory.

Known-new theory

Known-new theory states that new information should be connected to what readers already know, either from their own experience and knowledge or from what they have previously read in the document.

Chaining points

Chaining is one way of linking together known and new information.  In this case, the information is linked together like a chain.  (A, B, C, D, etc., refer to pieces of information.)

Sentence 1     A (known) + B (new)

Sentence 2     B (now known) + C (new)

Sentence 3     C (now known) + D (new)

Sentence 4     D (now known) + E (new)

Here is an example of a paragraph written with a CHAINING known-new structure.

Example 3

The 6/F of the Grandstand is divided into two sections: the north section and the south section.  The two sections each have nine individual boxes of different capacities for members, private clubs, the Tourist Association, and for day lets.  Three of these boxes have been renovated in the past year.

Adding points

This is a second way of using known-new structures.  In this case, each sentence adds new information about the same initial topic.

Sentence 1     A (known) + B (new)

Sentence 2     A (known) + C (new)

Sentence 3     A (known) + D (new)

Sentence 4     A (known) + E (new)

Here’s an example of a paragraph written with an ADDING known-new structure.

Example 4

The 6/F of the Grandstand is divided into two sections: the north section and the south section. This floor has not been refurbished, except for general maintenance works, since its opening in 1984. The whole floor now looks old and unattractive.

Adding and chaining together

Finally, here’s a more complex example.  Although the sequence of information uses both the ADDING and the CHAINING structures in the same paragraph, notice how in every sentence known information comes first followed by the new material.

Example 5

The initial approval of $15 million was to place the Grandstand on an independent air-conditioning system.  This plan involved installing the chillers on the roof.  Although space is available, it was found that the structure was not strong enough to support the additional weight.  The roof would require considerable strengthening, which would entail major costs and disruption to operations.  There was also a question of noise transfer through the structure, which would have to be designed out at further cost.